Day 3

Day 3:

I managed to pass my second weekly update with only three more hours added and those were just from mistakes or silly moments. No massive setbacks.

Things are starting get boring, but in a way I think I can handle. I’ve been in these kinds of situations before, both roleplay and real. I do pride myself on my patience and my ability to “soldier on” through a bad experience in order to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been a doll before, even a mannequin. Heck, once I spent an entire two weeks locked inside a capsule with only my then Mistress to talk to, with no possibility of even moving around!

Of course, those experiences were a little different. Having even just one person to chat with whenever I wanted is a world away from having no one at all. Besides, those other imprisonments were unique and personal to me. The banishment project is standardised. Dr. Kelley, my Operator and many people involved in the program will know how well I did, what happened during my banishment and how I measure up against other past, present and future Banes.

That’s a little annoying to me, but perhaps the annoyance is a defence-mechanism against feeling intimidated. My slave-ego leads me to look up things like the longest-serving, most obedient and least obedient Banes, on the internet. For years, I’ve played through these fantasies, so now I feel a little like a world-class sprinter who is past her prime and forced to compete in the Olympics against people I would have “beaten” easily a few years ago. Nowadays, I’m a lot more busy in real life, and a conceited part of me is affronted by the idea of me being objectively or dispassionately dismissed as “just another wannabe Bane” who passes through the program without distinction when I know in the past that I’ve been through thousands of hours of these kind of situations.

Sheesh, part of me can really be arrogant sometimes. The real difference between being a Bane and other types of extreme bondage is that in the latter situation, you still feel special. You feel the affection and/or lust of your owner, and you feel pride when the gawping crowds of onlookers marvel at how you’ve managed to remain isolated on display for hundreds of hours while they all pass by busy with their normal everyday lives.

I guess when it really comes down to it, my conformism fetish isn’t about conformism at all. It’s about rebelling and being anti-conformist by acting ultra-conformist in an anti-conformist society! Hmm, there’s something I need to get my mind around, hehe.

Oh well, I guess my only choice is to test myself with this true conformism and hopefully not come out the other side looking or feeling like a total noob.

Anyways, things were going to plan a lot more, even if the plan was now a full day longer.

I was a little upset that my current Mistress decided to shun me when I paid here a little visit to let her know I was doing okay. She even told me off for entering her shop because she thought I would be punished.

I don’t think she realised her shop has no roof on it and therefore isn’t technically a building!